What if it all goes right? with Liz Mosley
On embracing rejection + unleashing possibility
In November 2023, I embarked on an unusual challenge: a month-long rejection experiment.
Over 30 days, I approached 30 individuals and businesses who might like to collaborate or support me through marketing or sponsorship. I pitched to authors, editors, magazines, podcasts and writers, and it was an experience!
But why? Well, I wanted to shift my perspective, strengthen my attitude towards disappointment, and see if I could handle the turndowns. I was also curious to see what might work out. Rejection, as they say, is redirection, and I believed in the power of possibility.
After mapping out my 30-day rejection plan, I began writing, pitching and asking. I went easy on myself, to start with, and slowly built up to what I considered the unlikely prospects. There was some frustration along the way, such as losing out on a sponsorship opportunity that I believed was a done deal, but positive responses also filtered through and the challenge culminated in a successful writing pitch.
The biggest gain was a growing sense of abundance and confidence, which led to some unexpected outcomes, such as invitations from others. I felt more and more aligned as the month progressed.
You can read more about my approach and learnings in a follow-up piece I wrote about reflecting on rejection, and you might like to listen to last week’s podcast conversation about gamifying rejection with graphic designer Liz Mosley who first inspired me.
Liz was influenced by illustrator Katie Chappell, and I love the ripple effect their reframe has had, so I asked Liz to share more about the win-win nature of seeking rejection and the impact it’s had on her life and work.
Is rejection holding you back?
with Liz Mosley
The sting of rejection is a pretty universal experience, I would imagine. Whether it’s a romantic turndown, a job you didn’t get, or a friendship that fell apart – we all know that pain to a certain degree. It’s not a nice feeling and our default is to try and do whatever we can to avoid it happening again.
What sparked me to tackle my fear of rejection was a small encounter I had at a conference last year. I very briefly met a well-known and prominent business thought leader. Later, I tagged him in an Instagram story, and he replied, so I thought I would make the most of the opportunity and invite him to be on my podcast. It was a bit of a rash, unplanned thing, and I’m not sure what I was expecting, but he said that my podcast didn’t have a big enough audience but to get back to him when it did.
At that moment, the rejection stung. I felt embarrassed like I had made a fool of myself and it led me to analyse my experience of rejection. I realised there were so many things I wasn’t asking for or pitching for because I was afraid of a no.
Challenging the fear of rejection
I love being analytical when it comes to my business. I also love challenges. And so I started to think maybe there was something I could do to overcome my fear of being rejected. I was reminded of an internet pal of mine, Katie Chappell, who had spent some time seeking out no’s so decided to follow suit.
I aimed to get 100 rejections in six months and see what happened. I felt fairly certain I would learn a lot through the process, but I also had a sneaky suspicion that I might get a fair few ‘yeses’ that I wouldn’t have gotten without asking. It felt like a win-win.
I also decided to document the challenge to help me create engaging and inspiring content for others. I hadn’t anticipated how supportive it might be. I’ve had so many messages from people celebrating ‘yeses’ because they chose to pitch.
Learning from my rejection challenge
I can choose how I respond to the no in front of me. I can take it as a personal failure and feed the negative thought cycle, or I can accept that there are other reasons why I may have been rejected.Â
Once I decided to take on this challenge, there was an immediate mindset shift. It felt so refreshing and liberating. I was empowered to pitch and seek opportunities because I was less afraid.
I won’t be the right fit for everyone, and that’s okay. It means I can seek out the openings that are right for me. There’s plenty we can do to put ourselves out there and attract more opportunities.
Often it isn’t the right time or place for a collaboration. They may be working with someone similar, perhaps they don’t have the capacity, and I can let it go knowing there will be other possibilities.
I might not have the capacity for all the yeses. I hoped I would get some yeses, but hadn’t anticipated how many, and realised that if I was pitching for work, I needed to make sure I could deliver.
The next steps in my rejection journey
An aspect of this challenge I’ve noticed is that a certain level of privilege and safety is required to do something like this. I’m in a position where I feel safe to collect rejections, and it doesn’t feel like a big risk to my business. If my circumstances were different, that might not be the case, and I acknowledge that while I can do this challenge and have fun with it, it might not be possible for everyone.
18 months in, and my rejection challenge is not going well. But in the best of ways. I currently have more yeses than no’s. I have managed to get a spot on one of my favourite podcasts, secure dream sponsors for my podcast, and interview some of my favourite designers and illustrators.
I’ve had a few painful experiences, but I'm encouraged by how quickly I recover from those experiences. This whole process, while not always comfortable, has already been hugely beneficial for me and my business. It pushes me to dream big and ask for more, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.
I love Liz’s take on rejection and while I don’t think I could get on board with 100 ‘nos’, I wonder if I have another 30 days in me. After all, rejection is an inescapable part of life and work. While the instinct may be to dodge the awkwardness, there is so much waiting on the other side.
Are you fearful of rejection? Where can you put yourself out there? And what if it all goes right?
As a freelance writer I definitely had to learn to gamify rejection, too. A lot of people in the industry set themselves goals like this, too. 100 rejections in a year, for example. It's funny how easily it takes the sting off. Getting a rejection from the NYT and HuffPo felt like a badge of honour because I'd tried!
That said, I've taken a backseat from the pitching game in recent months/years because I couldn't handle it or hold space for the unknown and the disappointment of it while moving on this journey through grief and other unknowns. I think there are seasons for it, like there are seasons for everything! It perhaps feels more like a summer game than a winter one, when the stakes are lower and there's more playful, fun energy around 💜