Rising above rejection

Creative resilience + turning failure into feedback

We've all been there—putting our hearts into something only to be met with a ‘no’.

Last year, I was among ten studios invited to tender for a design project. This was an invitation I had reservations about because that’s a lot of creative energy, but I felt I was in with a chance. And my instincts were right. I was one of three taken to the interview stage and one of two to get the final callback.

Then, the project slipped through my fingers.

I was pleased to get to that point, but it was tough to process the outcome because I was convinced it was in the bag. Until it wasn’t. And the difference between winning and losing came down to one detail: the number of design options on offer.

And yet, I wouldn’t change a thing.

“Winning or losing an argument, receiving an acceptance or rejection, is no proof of the validity or value of personal identity.”

— Sylvia Plath

Whether it's for branding or websites, I'm a firm believer in presenting one concept to clients. By asking the right questions and ensuring I have clear answers, the creative brief and inspiration sourced should offer all the direction needed to hone in on a single, strong design route.

There’s always one idea, for me anyway, that stands out in the planning stages. It might present itself when I’m doing research, pop up during conversation, or come to life when I’m doodling. And the reason that concept makes the cut is simple - it's meaningful, purposeful, and supports my client’s vision, values and voice.

Of course, I’m not dismissing the need to refine a concept. Nor am I judging the approach of any other designer. We all have our own processes, and what works for each differs. That’s what makes one creative a better fit over another. And it’s why rejection is, in many ways, an opportunity to check in with our beliefs and determine whether we want to change course based on feedback.

It would have been easy to linger with the sting of rejection after losing out on this pitch, but when I feel a little lost, a little small and a little 'less than', I try to look for the good.

Where endings meet beginnings

Rejection carries invaluable lessons and is an inescapable part of life and work. While the instinct may be to dodge such discomfort, have you considered the hidden potential?

My most recent experience came when a client abruptly ended a project. I had received positive feedback throughout and was even paid in full, so I was left confused and disheartened. But upon reflection with a mentor, I realised how fortunate I was to have had the project stop there and then. In fact, had I been paying close attention, I would have seen that we weren't a good match.

During the project, my boundaries were murky, my confidence was shrinking, and my energy was fading. I needed to gather my thoughts and recall my worth.

As fate would have it, the closing of this door led to the opening of another—a dream project with a long-standing client, which aligned fully with my values.

So often, what looks or feels like rejection is a course correct. A little whisper telling you, 'not this way, but that way'.

Finding playfulness in rejection

Alexander Chee, in an interview with The Cut, spoke of learning to work with rejection and consider how it can propel you forward. So you can imagine how curious I was when fellow designer Liz Mosley embarked on a rejection challenge earlier this year, an experience she wrote about for This Creative Life.

Liz was influenced by illustrator Katie Chappell, and I love the ripple effect their reframe has had. Liz's article highlights the win-win nature of seeking rejection. A 'yes' boosts morale, while a 'no' moves you toward your purpose. There's something so empowering about taking the bite out of the blow, so I started my own rejection list with a focus on collaboration, marketing and sponsorship to tackle on my return from maternity leave.

Truth be told, I started to work through that list just before my son arrived. I reached out to two print publications with feature ideas. One accepted, and I’ll get to hold the magazine article in my hands next year. The other declined but offered to feature me online. So, different outcomes, but both have encouraged me to revisit my list and see what comes of it.

Daring to face disappointment

What if we saw rejection as a muscle to flex and considered it not as a mark of failure but as an essential, even welcome, step on our creative journey? Rejection isn't a sign that we’re lacking; it often means we’re daring. More than anything, it shows we’re making an effort.

But let's be honest about the reality: while flexing our "rejection muscle" builds our belief over time, it's also important to acknowledge the emotional toll it can take. And this is why I find it helpful to turn the “ask”, whatever it may be, into an “experiment”.

In the most recent of my Notelets on Nurture, I wrote about how much I value accountability. So when marketer Hannah Isted of Hi Communications popped up with a 30 Day Challenge and encouraged her community to join her, I took it as a sign to commit to 30 Days of Rejection throughout November and approach an awkward task more playfully!

Since I’ve also joined Essay Camp with

Summer Brennan

, I’m keen to ensure I can manage this while on maternity leave. But how?

• Email templates: To streamline communication, I'm drafting email templates to help me engage with different types of collaborators and give me a starting point.

• Pitch deck: To support me when approaching podcast sponsors, I've created a pitch deck to send to potential backers and answer some of their questions, saving time for them and me.

• Tight schedule: To sustain a rhythm with the challenge, I'm batch-creating emails and scheduling them since it will make the whole process of doing so much easier.

Plus, a helping of courage, kindness and support!

While I’m sure this challenge will teach me valuable lessons and, ideally, fuel my creative growth, I appreciate that the ability to openly chase rejection comes from a place of relative privilege; the stability of my business isn't on the line.

My hope is that I can share my experience and demonstrate that rejection isn’t something to be ashamed of. In fact, I think we need to normalise it, not as a dead end, but a detour—a chance to review, reframe and refine.

I'd love to know, have you ever done a 30-day challenge, or is there something you’re keen to try? Most importantly, how do you view rejection, and is it something you can redefine?

Follow me on Instagram for regular updates, and join my community here on Substack for a detailed reflection after the challenge.

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