The natural rhythm of growth + change

Navigating your creative life + work with compassion + enoughness

Last week, we celebrated my youngest son’s first birthday, and as I marked this milestone—arriving and vanishing in a beat—I couldn’t help but wish for time to stand still so I could breathe it all in.

When ‘mama’ first fell from his rosebud mouth, I wanted to bottle up the tenderness because there was a stretch, not too long ago, when I wondered if I might hear that word again. It reminded me of how fleeting life is and how eager I am to hold onto those tiny, precious instants.

Yet, there is also this fierce longing for growth and change, a craving for time and space, where I find myself dreaming of the next phase of my life and work. The demands of raising a family while running a business and trying to look after my health have led to this push-and-pull feeling of not quite being or doing enough. And this wrangle, I realise, stems from an inner pressure to be consistent and unwavering—to hold everything and everyone.

Recently,

Claire Amritavani Brown

wrote of those with wild natures and open hearts, how routine and rigidity seldom come easy to us. Consistency can be confused with constancy, leading to showing up in ways that don’t reflect our vision, values, or voice. This is why I lean into congruency. It feels more forgiving, allowing for honest connection with ourselves and others.

you're too wild to be consistent

Growing imperfectly

Lately, I’ve been frustrated by feelings of disconnection and the rise and fall in my energy. There is little cadence in this season of nursery settling and navigating sickness. I can also sense I'm beginning to feel less than when I don’t quite match my unrealistic expectations or self-imposed deadlines.

Without noticing, I’ve fallen into a rut of criticising instead of supporting myself. And the key to pivoting away from this, I think (hope), lies in honesty and integrity. In remembering who I am, where I am and what I can do. And knowing I can handle the challenging moments alongside the wonderful ones. There is beauty in the pulse of life, in the humanness and messiness of it all.

When I spoke with my somatic coach,

Sara Duigou

, of the tension I face between aspirations and responsibilities, and the up-and-down pattern of my days, she reminded me of a video I'd seen. Days before, I and countless others had watched a viral reel of a dahlia expanding and contracting, over and over, beautifully illustrating the organic pace of life. This image of the unfolding and pulsating flower is one my mind has returned to, for the comfort and knowledge that the ebb and flow is nature at its best.

Honouring boundaries

Reflecting on my nearly 20 years in self-employment, one of the most significant shifts has been building my branding studio, These Are The Days. In early 2020, I made the heart-led choice to start anew—to be intentional about my work and its place in my life, as well as my commitment to making it enjoyable while honouring my limitations and respecting my bandwidth.

My business has almost become a “boundary” of sorts because I so fiercely want to protect my peace—especially in this season where there are more demands on me than ever. However, I also acknowledge that we can be both delighted and depleted. These polarities can exist side by side.

And while I may feel incongruous when I talk about the many things I intend to do but haven’t yet actioned, I can offer myself a rich dose of kindness. Building a business takes energy and resources. And there is always something for us to acknowledge and celebrate.

Nurturing change

So, how do I hope to move through this cycle of shifting and shaping my life and work again?

• Moving into a studio: I recently found a small space in the nearby town of Melrose, and working from there will allow me to create more physical and mental room at home. I've always loved the flexibility of home working, but in this phase of life, I feel I need the separation so I can be more present.

• Connecting with others: One of my favourite ways to build a sense of belonging is through online co-working. So I launched Press Play, a two-hour session on the last Friday of each month for my paid community, and I also co-host Gathering Stories, a monthly content planning and creation session.

• Getting back into journaling: I enjoy journaling and would love to re-establish the habit, but instead of a daily practice, I’m jotting down a word or phrase that resonates or noting glimmers. Drawing oracle or tarot cards for business is also working well. Prompts can be helpful and playful!

• Embracing self-compassion: This is a big one for me because the voice in my head has been a little unsure and unkind, so I feel it’s time to give myself the love and care I need. And since asking for help has also been challenging lately, I’m learning to voice my wants and needs again.

• Making space for me: I’m rarely alone, so I’m committing to spending 30 minutes in my own company each day. Not to do but to be. My walks are beginning to feel more hurried than mindful, so this could be time in nature—to notice and enjoy—or time for movement or closing my eyes.

Reflecting light

I’ll close today’s post with The Summer Day, a poem by Mary Oliver. Meteorological summer is here, and we’re not far from Astronomical summer, so I’m leaning into the (potential) brightness and the lightness of the coming months and reminding myself that moments of calm are at my fingertips.

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

— Mary Oliver

I think this poem also highlights the value of life beyond work. There is worth in being idle and, in a world dominated by gadgets and gizmos, perhaps it’s a chance to welcome this simple truth. To embrace wildness and freedom by aligning ourselves with the natural rhythm of growth and change.

The words we need to read are often the ones we write. What began as a reflection on brand congruency over consistency (coming soon) evolved into an open piece about where I am in this phase of life and how I’m resourcing myself and reminding myself that I am enough. Where do you need to offer yourself more compassion? And what would you like to acknowledge and celebrate?

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