Here for this today, Sarah... Been feeling deeply a lot of what you've written about, particularly around keeping up. Being able to keep up with all the writing I want to do, the reading, the commenting and the sharing. This is and isn't a Substack-thing, I know! I am trying to listen to my body (which is screaming at me intermittently rn) and find ways to unplug myself from the noise, but... Oh it is HARD.
Oh I hear you! I was resistant to turning the noise down in January but it made such a difference to my nervous system, which needed some tending to 🥴
I’m finding social media a little busy now I’m in the midst of the creative challenge but we’re nearing the end, I’m getting enjoyment out of being on Instagram again, and I’m looking forward to settling into a sustainable rhythm 💛
Such an important message. And something I’ve been feeling in my bones of late… I know my work has value, I know my work is important to share, but it’s very hard not to get caught in the comparison trap when you see ‘others’ doing so well and I feel like I’m still battling to get readers, one by one by one 😂 love the little by little sentiment so thank you!
Oh I feel you on this. Comparison likes to visit me when I’m reading about the overnight success stories, though we all know deep down there’s really no such thing!
I really feel you in these words, the overthinking, the inner critic and the consequence of pressure. It's so hard to create when pressure is present, it can be the killer of all moods. Really lovely and understanding words, dear Sarah!
(I actually finished a piece on imposter syndrome on monday, and it's coming out tomorrow, kind of feel like it goes hand in hand with what you wrote.)
Pressure really is a killer. Looking forward to your piece on imposter syndrome, another vital topic for those of us who occasionally feel ‘less than’ 💛
Love this post Sarah, so many helpful ways on bringing in more compassion and dialling down comparison - things that we want to do more/less of but not always easy to do in practical terms, so I love your suggestions. I can so relate to the comparison on here but am also trying to get into an experimental mindset on here, and try different things. Giving ourselves the permission to do that can be freeing can't it! X
I agree, it really is vital to maintain a playful mindset on here, to see it as an experiment, otherwise, it can begin to feel a bit serious, can't it?! I've had this piece in drafts for a few weeks but felt strongly I had to share it since comparison is so common. I mean, we all experience it differently, but I think sharing examples is healthy 💛
Something that always comforts me from the Buddhist tradition is that comparison is the last thing to go before enlightenment. It's a natural part of being human to compare ourselves and even advanced practitioners of Buddhism have to face it before they are completely free. I guess it doesn't mean I should indulge comparison but at least know its a very deeply engrained part of who we are. Reading your post properly later. Looks gorgeous
Thank you so much for this. Somehow, this post arrived exactly when I needed it. I have had a lot of moments where I don't feel like I'm doing enough, or I'm just not on top of everything I "should" be doing/want to master. Overwhelm. This is a lovely and heartfelt reminder that "balance" is there for the taking, when we choose it. Thank you.
It;s my birthday today and it's as if you wrote this for me, as the most generous of gifts! I recently did Huma Qureshi's Postcards Home little writing course. It coincided with the possibility of taking redundancy from work and the two together helped me see that I really do want to write. For me. So I have come back here to be with it in whatever way it is. But comparison, overthinking and doubt are strong, despite my resolve to note let them be! Compassion is such a work in progress. The generosity of you sharing this brings such comfort - not that I want you to have those things too, but I know you know what I mean! So this is absolutely wonderful for me to read, thank you so much love xxx
Happy birthday, Clare! I’m glad this came at the right time for you.
It’s so important to share our stories of doubt and fear, I think. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to squash comparison, and I sometimes feel shame for experiencing it, but it’s really just a compass showing us where we might need to pay attention to something in our own lives.
I’ve had my eye on Huma Qureshi's course. I think Kat Nicholls did it, too?
"Understanding your value: It’s vital to embrace your unique approach to your practice. Reflect on what makes you different, what sets your work apart, and the value you bring"
Thanks Sarah. You have helped me hone in on this aspect of things. So important. Thanks for this helpful post.
The switching mindset piece has been key for me. It’s helped me to pivot from a place of grumbling to one of finding joy in others’ successes - which is so much more lovely!
It seems as if self-doubt has been a collective energy lately. I have definitely swam in it recently. Whilst stretching my own wings, inevitably I also find myself in comparison, in doubting my enoughness, in wanting to prove my worth. And what I find is that my abundance begins with my own breath. A deep, slow, nourishing breath to remember my own power and reconnect within. Thank you for speaking to it all. ❤️
You’re so welcome. That feeling of ‘enoughness’ is vital for me, too. Abundance is one of my words of the year so I’ll follow your lead, take that long, deep breath and lean back into that feeling of possibility 💛
Embracing your uniqueness is something I really focus on, it's why I encourage people to share what I call a bit of ankle. That pinch of personality that nobody else can replicate. Your words are so reassuring to know it's not just a 'is it only me that thinks like this' perspective.
The ‘bit of ankle’ in your earlier note stood out to me! I’m in that phase of deciding how much to ‘show’ with my current side project as I’m something of an over sharer (as well as an over thinker) but folk seem to like that openness and honesty…so maybe taking people behind the scenes is my ‘thing’ 🤔
"It’s also important to remember that the most rewarding comparisons are those we make with our past selves when we consider just how far we’ve come." So true! And, I find that sometimes, I have to be careful even with those comparisons.
Even though we always grow and expands, that's not always so obvious on the outside and based on metrics we typically used. For instance, back when I first left my law career and started my business from scratch, a self comparison based on a superficial understanding of success would have been toxic, while a self comparison based on how much more authentic I've become would have been positive.
I hear you, Louise! When I left the design business I ran with my partner to start my branding studio from scratch, it could’ve felt like I was stepping back when, really, I was stepping more fully into myself. So I can totally resonate with what you’ve shared. Thanks for stopping by ☺️
Such a great post Sarah! As you can see I am behind on my reading and often feel as though I’m not keeping up. I find it helpful to remind myself that there is time…and there is no rush. Trying to find that abundant mindset and move away from the scarcity/competition conditioning (especially as women) is so healing and of course a work in progress. I absolutely find myself being pulled in different directions when I consume and am left wondering “how do they do it….?” I suppose I also find it comforting to remind myself that I am doing my best with my current capacity. Always in admiration of your work and all that you do. Lots of love xx
I’ve definitely felt that push and pull recently. The lack of time and space. And I’ve had to be so mindful of my online consumption. It’s as though I have to repeatedly curate my experience here, and in other places, too 💛
Very resonant Sarah, the pressure to keep up and compare is so ingrained. It does take work to shift it but it’s so worth it. Your suggestions are spot on, we could all use to dial up compassion and dial down comparison and tune more and more into who we really are 🩵
Yeah for sure! It’s still going to show up, it’s what you do with it that counts. And the more you know who YOU are, the easier it becomes! I say that as someone who feels and dials down comparison often 😂
I’m trying to ignore comparison thoughts and ‘stay in my lane’ here on Substack - easier said than done! I think the reducing the triggers one resonates to keep a lid on it for me! Thanks for this and these useful resources too 💛
I absolutely love how you've framed this, particularly dialing up the compassion. I love your practical suggestions too. Do often it's easy to think of these things in the abstract and of course, never take action. I love how accessible your suggestions are 🧡
Thanks, Louise. I wanted to round up ideas that were achievable, things I practice myself that can be woven into the everyday. I don’t always remember to practice them but we can only try, right? 💛
Here for this today, Sarah... Been feeling deeply a lot of what you've written about, particularly around keeping up. Being able to keep up with all the writing I want to do, the reading, the commenting and the sharing. This is and isn't a Substack-thing, I know! I am trying to listen to my body (which is screaming at me intermittently rn) and find ways to unplug myself from the noise, but... Oh it is HARD.
Oh I hear you! I was resistant to turning the noise down in January but it made such a difference to my nervous system, which needed some tending to 🥴
I’m finding social media a little busy now I’m in the midst of the creative challenge but we’re nearing the end, I’m getting enjoyment out of being on Instagram again, and I’m looking forward to settling into a sustainable rhythm 💛
Such an important message. And something I’ve been feeling in my bones of late… I know my work has value, I know my work is important to share, but it’s very hard not to get caught in the comparison trap when you see ‘others’ doing so well and I feel like I’m still battling to get readers, one by one by one 😂 love the little by little sentiment so thank you!
Oh I feel you on this. Comparison likes to visit me when I’m reading about the overnight success stories, though we all know deep down there’s really no such thing!
I really feel you in these words, the overthinking, the inner critic and the consequence of pressure. It's so hard to create when pressure is present, it can be the killer of all moods. Really lovely and understanding words, dear Sarah!
(I actually finished a piece on imposter syndrome on monday, and it's coming out tomorrow, kind of feel like it goes hand in hand with what you wrote.)
Pressure really is a killer. Looking forward to your piece on imposter syndrome, another vital topic for those of us who occasionally feel ‘less than’ 💛
Love this post Sarah, so many helpful ways on bringing in more compassion and dialling down comparison - things that we want to do more/less of but not always easy to do in practical terms, so I love your suggestions. I can so relate to the comparison on here but am also trying to get into an experimental mindset on here, and try different things. Giving ourselves the permission to do that can be freeing can't it! X
I agree, it really is vital to maintain a playful mindset on here, to see it as an experiment, otherwise, it can begin to feel a bit serious, can't it?! I've had this piece in drafts for a few weeks but felt strongly I had to share it since comparison is so common. I mean, we all experience it differently, but I think sharing examples is healthy 💛
Something that always comforts me from the Buddhist tradition is that comparison is the last thing to go before enlightenment. It's a natural part of being human to compare ourselves and even advanced practitioners of Buddhism have to face it before they are completely free. I guess it doesn't mean I should indulge comparison but at least know its a very deeply engrained part of who we are. Reading your post properly later. Looks gorgeous
Oh wow, that's an interesting concept, Claire! Thanks for sharing, this resonates a lot.
Thanks, Claire. Hope you enjoy it when you come back to it ☺️
Thank you so much for this. Somehow, this post arrived exactly when I needed it. I have had a lot of moments where I don't feel like I'm doing enough, or I'm just not on top of everything I "should" be doing/want to master. Overwhelm. This is a lovely and heartfelt reminder that "balance" is there for the taking, when we choose it. Thank you.
So pleased it spoke to you, Maria. Balance is so hard to find but, occasionally, we hit that sweet spot 😀
It;s my birthday today and it's as if you wrote this for me, as the most generous of gifts! I recently did Huma Qureshi's Postcards Home little writing course. It coincided with the possibility of taking redundancy from work and the two together helped me see that I really do want to write. For me. So I have come back here to be with it in whatever way it is. But comparison, overthinking and doubt are strong, despite my resolve to note let them be! Compassion is such a work in progress. The generosity of you sharing this brings such comfort - not that I want you to have those things too, but I know you know what I mean! So this is absolutely wonderful for me to read, thank you so much love xxx
Happy birthday, Clare! I’m glad this came at the right time for you.
It’s so important to share our stories of doubt and fear, I think. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to squash comparison, and I sometimes feel shame for experiencing it, but it’s really just a compass showing us where we might need to pay attention to something in our own lives.
I’ve had my eye on Huma Qureshi's course. I think Kat Nicholls did it, too?
Wishing you a special day 💛
"Understanding your value: It’s vital to embrace your unique approach to your practice. Reflect on what makes you different, what sets your work apart, and the value you bring"
Thanks Sarah. You have helped me hone in on this aspect of things. So important. Thanks for this helpful post.
Glad you got something out of it!
The switching mindset piece has been key for me. It’s helped me to pivot from a place of grumbling to one of finding joy in others’ successes - which is so much more lovely!
It makes such a difference, doesn’t it? So much energy is lost on “why me?” Best save it for cheering others on 👏🏻
It seems as if self-doubt has been a collective energy lately. I have definitely swam in it recently. Whilst stretching my own wings, inevitably I also find myself in comparison, in doubting my enoughness, in wanting to prove my worth. And what I find is that my abundance begins with my own breath. A deep, slow, nourishing breath to remember my own power and reconnect within. Thank you for speaking to it all. ❤️
You’re so welcome. That feeling of ‘enoughness’ is vital for me, too. Abundance is one of my words of the year so I’ll follow your lead, take that long, deep breath and lean back into that feeling of possibility 💛
Embracing your uniqueness is something I really focus on, it's why I encourage people to share what I call a bit of ankle. That pinch of personality that nobody else can replicate. Your words are so reassuring to know it's not just a 'is it only me that thinks like this' perspective.
The ‘bit of ankle’ in your earlier note stood out to me! I’m in that phase of deciding how much to ‘show’ with my current side project as I’m something of an over sharer (as well as an over thinker) but folk seem to like that openness and honesty…so maybe taking people behind the scenes is my ‘thing’ 🤔
I love the title of this article, Sarah!
"It’s also important to remember that the most rewarding comparisons are those we make with our past selves when we consider just how far we’ve come." So true! And, I find that sometimes, I have to be careful even with those comparisons.
Even though we always grow and expands, that's not always so obvious on the outside and based on metrics we typically used. For instance, back when I first left my law career and started my business from scratch, a self comparison based on a superficial understanding of success would have been toxic, while a self comparison based on how much more authentic I've become would have been positive.
I hear you, Louise! When I left the design business I ran with my partner to start my branding studio from scratch, it could’ve felt like I was stepping back when, really, I was stepping more fully into myself. So I can totally resonate with what you’ve shared. Thanks for stopping by ☺️
Such a great post Sarah! As you can see I am behind on my reading and often feel as though I’m not keeping up. I find it helpful to remind myself that there is time…and there is no rush. Trying to find that abundant mindset and move away from the scarcity/competition conditioning (especially as women) is so healing and of course a work in progress. I absolutely find myself being pulled in different directions when I consume and am left wondering “how do they do it….?” I suppose I also find it comforting to remind myself that I am doing my best with my current capacity. Always in admiration of your work and all that you do. Lots of love xx
Well, as you can see I’m behind on replying 😅
I’ve definitely felt that push and pull recently. The lack of time and space. And I’ve had to be so mindful of my online consumption. It’s as though I have to repeatedly curate my experience here, and in other places, too 💛
Very resonant Sarah, the pressure to keep up and compare is so ingrained. It does take work to shift it but it’s so worth it. Your suggestions are spot on, we could all use to dial up compassion and dial down comparison and tune more and more into who we really are 🩵
Yes! I’m here for tuning into our own energy and our own gifts. And not getting so distracted by what everyone else is doing 💛
And it looks from the outside like you do that really well Sarah! That’s what I see at least. I know it’s sometimes a little different on the inside 😘
Getting much better! I feel more able to spot any awkward feelings and switch them up. Recovering from comparison quickly I guess?
Yeah for sure! It’s still going to show up, it’s what you do with it that counts. And the more you know who YOU are, the easier it becomes! I say that as someone who feels and dials down comparison often 😂
I’m trying to ignore comparison thoughts and ‘stay in my lane’ here on Substack - easier said than done! I think the reducing the triggers one resonates to keep a lid on it for me! Thanks for this and these useful resources too 💛
You’re right! So much easier said than done. I think homing I’m on your own unique value can make a difference, too 🥰
I absolutely love how you've framed this, particularly dialing up the compassion. I love your practical suggestions too. Do often it's easy to think of these things in the abstract and of course, never take action. I love how accessible your suggestions are 🧡
Thanks, Louise. I wanted to round up ideas that were achievable, things I practice myself that can be woven into the everyday. I don’t always remember to practice them but we can only try, right? 💛