Notelets on Nurture #02

A guide to glimmer hunting + finding moments of connection

Following the publication of my last post, I’ve been thinking about what nurtures my curiosity, a quality that inspires us to step into the unknown, and open ourselves up to possibility.

The unknown is uncomfortable, though, and many of us avoid it, preferring to swerve the challenges that follow transitions. And yet, when we brave discomfort, I believe it can help us find meaning and purpose.

Following our curiosity can also lead to an increased capacity to spot ‘glimmers’, something I learned about from somatic coach and embodiment practitioner Sara Duigou.

Sara wrote a beautiful piece about glimmers for This Creative Life, a guest blog series I host on my website, These Are The Days, and she kindly agreed to let me repurpose it.

“I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity.”

— Eleanor Roosevelt

Glimmer hunting
with Sara Duigou

As humans, we're constantly absorbing and processing information from our environment, online and offline interactions, and even our bodies. Below your conscious awareness, your brain is scanning and checking to ensure you are protected. This is a sensitive and intelligent system, and the smallest things can trigger changes in our thoughts and emotions.

Much of the information you take in flows through the threat-detection part of your brain (the hypothalamus or ‘internal smoke detector’). Here, the brain uses past and present information to weigh-up whether something is safe. Most of the time, the body functions as it should, and our environment is secure enough, so we should get the reassuring feedback that ‘all is well’. But that’s not always the case.

You see, we have a brilliant built-in negativity bias – a hard-wired murmuring of anxiety that wants to keep us alive. It supports our survival as a species. But sometimes, it can be a little over-sensitive and ignore the signals of safety that help us feel calm and at ease. Because of this, we can miss out on joyful moments simply because our brain is wired to put them at the bottom of the list.

The good news is that we can begin to rewire the information we receive, slowly quiet the murmuring of our anxieties, and strengthen our ability to feel resourced. But how?

I invite you to start glimmer hunting. Deb Dana, whose work is focused on using the lens of Polyvagal Theory to understand and resolve the impact of trauma in our lives, explains that glimmers are the opposite of triggers, which cause emotional discomfort and activate us towards a stress response. In contrast, glimmers are sparks of emotional comfort that bring about a sense of awe.

A glimmer hunting habit

1. Be mindful of glimmers
   Actively look for moments of emotional comfort. A smile from a stranger, a pleasant tune, or the feel of sunlight on your skin. Take note when these sensations occur, and you will begin to combat your inherent negativity bias, sparking more ease, joy and warmth in your day.

2. Notice and receive
   When you spot a glimmer, pause and see how it makes you feel. Whether it’s a fleeting emotion or a bodily sensation, welcome it, don't force it, and be open to receiving the moment as it naturally occurs. Let it sink in. Over time, this practice will help you focus on signs of safety.

3. Integrate the practice
   The more you seek glimmers, the more likely they will become a natural part of your day. Gradually moving from a state of constant alertness to one of connectedness and savouring these micro-moments can expand your sense of calm and help you build emotional resilience. 

When we pay attention to glimmers and the feelings that arise when we spot them, we can learn to trust our bodies and the world around us. This is not about ignoring life's difficulties but learning to enjoy small opportunities for connection, leading to a greater sense of safety and security.

Thank you for sharing, Sara!

When I first heard of glimmers, I made a pact with myself to get curious about these subtle moments of magic. Glimmers are fleeting, but in my experience, they carry hope, healing and happiness in abundance, and embracing these tiny instants of beauty or oneness immediately pulls me into the present.

Will you get curious about glimmers and how you can integrate the habit of noticing them into your daily life? I’ve been journaling again lately and am evolving my gratitude practice into a glimmer practice, noting three small things each day. Over the last week, I’ve written about:

• Enjoying my son's first belly laugh with his daddy, a shared family glimmer that sparked smiles all around

• Seeing a growing connection between my children and recalling how I dreamt of this moment for so long

• Cuddling into my cat, Bella, who is finally warming to me again since so many things changed at home

To learn more, visit Sara’s website or follow her on Instagram. I'm a week into her 30-day course, Moments of Connection, which offers a gentle pause in each day.

Are you familiar with the concept of glimmers? Tell me about a glimmer you’ve spotted in your week.

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